The main idea of Stoicism is to live in accordance with reason and nature. It is a philosophy that emphasizes personal ethics and the development of inner character. The goal of a Stoic is to live a virtuous life, detached from overly emotional responses and external events, and to focus on what is within their control.
The ancient stoics believed in the power of discretion and the wisdom of silence. They understood that not everything we think or experience should be shared with the world. In the words of the stoic philosopher Epictetus there is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will. With this wisdom in mind, let's explore the seven things that stoicism teaches us to keep to ourselves in the pursuit of wisdom and inner strength.
1. Don't speak ill of yourself.
One of the fundamental principles of stoicism a philosophy that emphasizes strength and resilience is the prohibition against speaking negatively about oneself. This means that you should never engage in self-deprecating talk, even in the privacy of your own thoughts. As Marcus Aurelius, a prominent stoic philosopher and Roman Emperor wisely advised, don't be overheard complaining, not even to yourself. The reason behind this stoic guidelines is to protect yourself confidence and mental well-being.
When you constantly indulge in thoughts like, "I'm terrible at this", or, "I'll never improve", you're essentially chipping away at yourself esteem. These negative self-assessments have a debilitating effect on your motivation and hinder your personal growth. To follow this stoic wisdom it's crucial to be mindful of your inner dialogue. Instead of putting yourself down strive to remind yourself of your potential and capabilities. Tell yourself, "I am capable of achieving this and if not immediately, I will get there eventually." By adopting this positive and growth oriented mindset you'll bolster yourself confidence and resilience, aligning with the core tenets of stoicism.
2. Don't boast about self-improvement.
Epictetus, a prominent stoic philosopher, offers valuable council on the subject of self-improvement. He wisely suggests that when we strive to become better individuals we should do so with a sense of humility and discretion. This means refraining from loudly proclaiming our efforts and accomplishments to the world. Instead we should allow our actions to be the true testament of our growth.
In essence, Epictetus emphasizes that self improvement should be a personal journey. One one that we undertake for our own benefit and not for the applause or recognition of others. When we constantly boast about our progress we risk diluting the sincerity of our intentions. It's like announcing our goals before achieving them which can inadvertently reduce our motivation and commitment. Actions speak louder than words.
This means that the real measure of our self-improvement lies not in the grandiose declarations we make but in the tangible changes we manifest in our behaviour, character and mindset. True growth is demonstrated through our actions, the way we treat others, the wisdom we impart and the virtues we embody. The key takeaway is that self-improvement should be a silent and steadfast pursuit. Instead of broadcasting our intentions, we should work diligently in the background, focusing on our personal development. By doing so we allow our results to naturally shine through and inspire others.
People are more likely to be influenced and impressed by the tangible improvements they witness in us, rather than by the empty words we speak. According to Epictetus, the path to self-improvement is best taken with humility and modesty. We should let our actions and results do the talking, as this is the most genuine and impactful way to inspire and influence those around us.
3. Don't be a glutton.
Musonius, a prominent stoic philosopher, offers his valuable guidance on the importance of practicing moderation in all aspects of life, with a particular emphasis on our eating and drinking habits. Indulgence can lead to adverse consequences, including physical and mental burdens and a faster burnout. The the stoic philosophy emphasizes the significance of discipline and self-control as fundamental keys to success.
The stoic philosophy emphasizes the significance of discipline and self-control as fundamental keys to success, not not only in our professional endeavours but also in the broader spectrum of our lives. This means that the virtue of moderation is not just a mere suggestion, it's an essential principle to embrace. Imagine a pendulum swinging. On one extreme we have overindulgence, eating or drinking excessively. This provide momentary pleasure but it ultimately burdens both our bodies and minds.
Overeating for example, can lead to physical discomfort, health issues and the mental distress of guilt or regret. Similarly overindulging in drink can result in impaired judgment and loss of self-control. On the other extreme we have extreme restraint or abstinence which can be equally detrimental. This can lead to feelings of deprivation, frustration and paradoxically may even contribute to a desire to overindulge later on.
Musonius' wisdom advises us to find the balance in between, a middle path. Moderation is the key. Instead of stuffing ourselves to the point of discomfort we should eat until we are satisfied. Instead of consuming drinks excessively, we should enjoy them in a way that enhances our experiences, not hinders them. The stoic philosophy as exemplified by Musonius, teaches us that moderation isn't just a virtue concerning food and drink, it's a universal principle that can be applied to every aspect of our lives.
By practicing moderation we exercise discipline and self-control which are not only beneficial but essential for achieving success and maintaining harmonious existence. So remember in the grand Orchestra of Life moderation plays a crucial role harmonizing our actions and ensuring a more fulfilling and balanced journey.
4. Don't be a big mouth.
Zeno, an ancient philosopher known as the father of stoicism once imparted a timeless piece of wisdom that continues to resonate in today's fast-paced talkative world. He wisely said you have two ears and one mouth for a reason, so listen more than you speak. This deceptively simple advice holds profound meaning urging us to reflect on the way we communicate and interact with others. In our modern era, where the clamor for attention seems louder than ever, it's becoming increasingly crucial to heed Zeno's counsel. The clamor often emerges from social media, meetings and everyday conversations, where everyone strives to have their voices heard.
However in the quest to make our thoughts known we sometimes forget the immense value of active and attentive listening. Listening is an art that requires more than just the absence of noise, it's about giving someone your undivided attention, about tuning into the words, emotions and unspoken cues. When you listen you offer a precious gift, respect. It demonstrates that you value the speaker's thoughts, feelings and experiences. In a world full of noise being a good listener sets you apart and it's a testament to your empathy and consideration. When you listen you create a space for meaningful connections to form. People feel heard, understood and valued, leading to stronger bonds and more effective communication.
Whether you're in a personal or professional setting being a good listener can enhance relationships, foster collaboration and promote a sense of trust. Moreover listening also provides you with the opportunity to learn and grow. By actively engaging with what others say you can gain new perspectives, insights and knowledge. Listening becomes a source of personal development and a pathway to making informed decisions, Zeno's age old advice remains as relevant as ever. You have two ears and one mouth for a reason, so listen more than you speak. In a world where self-express takes center stage being a good listener is an act of mindfulness, respect and wisdom. So the next time you find yourself in a conversation remember the power of listening and you'll discover a profound connection with others and a path to personal and professional growth.
5. Don't be too focused on the future.
In the philosophy of stoicism there is a profound lesson about the importance of not becoming overly fixated on the future. The great stoic thinkers like Epictetus remind us that there are certain aspects of life we simply cannot control. Worrying about things that lie beyond our control, such as events that might happen in the future, events that have already transpired in the past, or the thoughts and actions of other individuals can be a source of unnecessary stress and unhappiness.
Epictetus, the prominent stoic philosopher, emphasized that the key to finding genuine happiness lies in letting go of our preoccupation with matters beyond our power. He famously said, "There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will."
Here's a breakdown of what the stoic wisdom means.
* One, except the limits of your control. It's vital to recognize that you cannot dictate every aspect of your life. Some events are simply beyond your influence and no amount of worry or concern will change that. For instance, cannot control external circumstances the behavior of others or the future's uncertainty.
* Two, focus on the present instead of dwelling on the past or getting anxious about the future. Stoicism advises us to concentrate on the here and now. Your power to act and make choices is confined to the present moment/ By doing your best in the present you can shape your future in a positive way.
* Three, choose your reactions. The stoics stress the importance of controlling your reactions and attitudes. While you can't control external events you can always control how you respond to them. This self master allows you to find peace and contentment in the face of life's uncertainties.
* Four, reduce unnecessary stress. Constantly worrying about what might happen in the future is a recipe for stress and anxiety.
Stoicism teaches us to accept the unpredictability of life and to embrace it rather than resist it. By doing so we can reduce our mental burdens and live with greater tranquility. The stoic philosophy encourages to let go of excessive concerns about the future and focus on what we can control. This approach can lead to greater happiness, resilience and a more peaceful state of mind, in alignment with the wise words of Epictetus.
6. Don't be ungrateful.
One crucial aspect for our interactions with others is the way we express gratitude or its opposite, ingratitude. It is essential never to communicate that you don't appreciate anything for life itself is a remarkable gift and we should embrace it with gratitude for every single moment we are granted. As the ancient philosopher Epictetus wisely stated he is a wise individual who refrains from grieving over the things he lacks and instead finds joy in those he possesses. This Timeless wisdom teaches us to always acknowledge and be thankful for the blessings in our lives.
In simple terms being ungrateful means not recognizing or showing appreciation for the good things that have come our way. It can manifest in various forms, from overlooking the kindness of others, to taking our daily comforts for granted. Practicing gratitude is a way of acknowledging the positive aspects of our lives and the efforts of those who contribute to our well-being. When we express ingratitude we risk alienating ourselves from people around us. It can lead to misunderstandings, hurt feelings and a strained social atmosphere. In contrast, expressing gratitude fosters positive relationships and creates an environment where people feel appreciated and valued. So in your interactions with others always remember the importance of being thankful. Cultivate a habit of expressing gratitude for the acts of kindness, the opportunities and the blessings that come your way. By doing so you not only foster positive relationships but also enrich your own life by recognizing the beauty and goodness that surround you.
7. Avoid complaining for a happier life.
Complaining is a habit that many of us develop without even realizing it. We often use that as a way to vent our frustrations or seek sympathy from others but in reality complaining rarely helps improve a situation. Instead it tends to bring negativity into our lives and the lives of those around us.
As the philosopher Marcus Aurelius wisely stated, "Very little is needed to make a happy life. It is all within yourself in your way of thinking." In other words our happiness largely depends on our mindset and how we choose to perceive and respond to the world around us.
Why complaining doesn't help: Complaining often becomes a repetitive, unproductive cycle. When we complain about something it doesn't usually result in a solution or a positive change, instead it can create a sense of victimhood and helplessness. It reinforces the idea that we have no control over our circumstances which can lead to increased stress and frustration.
Moreover, constant complaining can strain our relationships. It can be emotionally draining for those around us and over time people may become less inclined to offer their support or companionship. Negative energy is contagious and complaining tends to spread it.
The power of positivity on the flip side: Choosing not to complain and focusing on the positives can have transformative effects on our lives. Here's how:
* One. Improves mental health. When you stop complaining you free your mind from dwelling on problems and instead focus on solutions. And this can lead to reduced stress, enhanced relationships. increased emotional resilience and improved overall mental well-being.
* Two. Enhanced relationships. People are naturally drawn to those who exude positivity. By choosing not to complain you can strengthen your social connections and build more meaningful relationships.
* Three. Increased productivity. Complaining often serves as a distraction from taking action. When you shift your mindset toward finding solutions and taking proactive steps you become more productive and efficient in your endeavours.
* Four. Gratitude. Not complaining encourages you to be more grateful for what you have, recognizing and appreciating the positives in your life, no matter how small, can bring a sense of contentment and happiness.
Tips for reducing complaints.
* One. Practice mindfulness. Become aware of your thoughts and feelings. Mindfulness can help you catch yourself when you're about to complain and redirect your focus.
* Two. Seek Solutions. When faced with a problem or challenge shift your thinking toward finding solutions and taking action rather than dwelling on the issue.
* Three. Express Gratitude. Make it a habit to express gratitude for the good things in your life. This can help shift your perspective toward the positive aspects of your existence. Complaining is a counterproductive and often destructive habit. By embracing a more positive and solution-oriented mindset you can cultivate a happier and more fulfilling life.
Remember, as Marcus Aurelius wisely observed, the key to happiness lies within ourselves and the way we think. Embracing stoic principles can be a powerful means to attain strength, wisdom and inner peace in our lives. One key aspect of this philosophy is the practice of selective silence, which involves carefully considering when to speak and when to remain silent. This discretion in communication can greatly enhance our personal growth and our connections with others.
The stoic philosophy reminds us that not everything we think or feel needs to be expressed. Just as some treasures are best kept close to our chests, certain thoughts and emotions are better kept within, allowing for deeper introspection and self-improvement. This internal reflection can be invaluable on our journey toward a more profound understanding of ourselves and the world around us. The stoics understood that silence can serve as a valuable teacher. It enables us to listen more attentively to our inner thoughts. To observe the world around us with greater clarity and to gain insights that might otherwise by the noise of constant chatter. In essence by practicing selective silence we can learn to navigate life with more attention and wisdom, ultimately leading to a deeper and more meaningful existence.
(from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o3exSWWlDjk)
